A Room of Her Very Own

Parents who are adopting internationally, as we are, are taught to be prepared for a number of possible institution-related behaviors. Some children are taught to self-soothe by sticking their finger in their ear or sucking on the corner of a towel. Some children rock themselves constantly for stimulation. Others, coming from a situation where food has been limited, hoard food in pockets or overeat for fear that the abundance of food may not continue. Some children do not cry in the beginning, becuase they have learned that crying brings no comfort, no result. Nannies are not able to respond to every child every time they cry. So, many children just stop doing it. There are a thousand other variables, and every child is different.

Recently, I was reading a post by a fellow adoptive parent about some unique tendancies she was facing with her daughter. This precious girl, adopted from an orphanage internationally as an older child, was in the habit of hiding odd little things around the house. Eventually, her mom asked why she was doing this. Her reply, "I've never had things that belong just to me, and I want to hide my things now. I don't know why. I know that no one will take them here, but I can't help it."

It had not really occured to me until reading this post that children living in many orphanages have no personal belongings. Of course, this makes sense. It would be a logistical nightmare to keep up with whose clothes were whose if you were doing laundry for over 100 kids. I think that one of the small joys of our early days with Grace will be giving her things that will belong to her. I wonder how long it will take for the concept of "belonging" to occur to her. How long will it take for her little mind to comprehend that the doll that I've kept next to my computer for the past 15 months is hers to keep? How long will it take for her trust in us to build and for her to realize that she belongs with us?

One of our first big opportunities to show her that she belongs here will come on the day that we bring her home. My mom and dad just spent the past week here helping me prepare Grace's new room. It is wonderfully soft and girly, and I love it. I find myself walking by and just staring into the room, trying to imagine her sleeping under her soft blanket in the crib that her Daddy just put together.

I know that trust will come only through patience and time. But I think it is going to be a wonderful experience teaching this little one that she is our daughter, and she always will be.
Seth's old dresser got a new life with paint, glass knobs, and a wood applique.

A lovely shower gift that matches her room perfectly!

An old lamp shade, painted white. A white bed sheet, cut into strips and made into raw-edged yo-yos. Rosettes glued to the shade with pearls in the center. Girly lamp for under $5.

Our Baby Girl's First Birthday

We received Grace's pictures and information on April 24th. Just eight days later, on May 2nd, she had her first birthday...

Of course, we had to celebrate!

We shared a fresh strawberry cake ('cause it's pink and all), and sang Happy Birthday. She also got a couple of presents which we will take with us to China in a few months.

It was a bittersweet celebration. We are so excited to have found her, and to know that we will be together soon. But, it was really hard to know that we were missing this milestone. I have lots of photos of both boys on their first birthdays. I especially love the tradition of getting their own cake to play in. Maybe we will do that with Grace on the 1st anniversary of her Gotcha Day!

Big Brother blew out her candle...

Her gifts: Some clothes, a "teetheable" photo album so that she can start learning the faces of her family, and


Her first baby doll.

This was the first thing I purchased after we decided to pursue the adoption of a daughter. Her name is Magnolia, and she was designed by the adoptive mom of two sweet girls from China. You can learn more HERE. (A portion of the proceeds from these dolls goes to assist children in orphanages around the world. And, I've just discovered that Magnolia has a lot of new friends, too!) Very few Asian dolls are on the market today, especially dolls for young children. Magnolia has been sitting on my desk for 10 months as a daily reminder of the blessings of this journey. I cannot wait to give her to our baby girl.

(By the way, the quilt she is sitting on is Grace's bedding. We will begin preparing her room soon. There will be pictures!)

A Stocking Hung in Anticipation

I am beginning to gather the components of a Lifebook for Grace. Many adoption agencies encourage Lifebooks as a means for helping a child to integrate into their new family. Eventually, when they are old enough, it also helps them to understand where they have come from. A Lifebook helps a child to understand their history, and that of their adoptive family. There are many articles and books available to help in constructing a Lifebook. Some can be found HERE and HERE.

Grace's Lifebook will contain information about our family genealogy, which will also be hers. It will tell about our lives and traditions before bringing her home, how we found her, Gothca Day, what little we will know of her history, and the adoption process.

One day I want to be able to show her how we began making her a part of our traditions even before we found her. This Christmas that means that her stocking is hanging with ours. It means that her name is on our Christmas cards. There is an ornament wrapped under the tree to begin her collection, just as there has always been one for Samuel and for Seth. And also, how we chose a little girl named Lyric, about her age, from the Salvation Army Angel Tree to provide gifts for since Grace is not yet with us.

I believe these things are going to help our boys adjust to and anticipate Grace's arrival. And, I hope that one day she will see just how much she is wanted and loved.