To China & Back

A Voice for the Voiceless

2011-12-04T08:20:00.001-05:00

For several months I have been feeling a distinct call to orphan advocacy. I have not been sure what avenue to pursue, whether it be blogging, involvement in a particular non-profit, promoting orphan care in my own little sphere of influence, or something completely different.

I began praying, and looking, and listening for an open door.

About 2 months ago, a fellow adoptive mom posted a link on Facebook to the blog of a family who was adopting Katie.

Katie is 9 years old...yes years, not months. Katie has Downs Syndrome. Downs Syndrome does not cause a child to weigh 10 lbs 9 oz at 9 years old. Neglect and malnutrition, at the hands of an Eastern European institution did that. Her bones are porous and brittle like the bones of an elderly lady with osteoporosis. She came home with scurvy due to a lack of vital nutrients. She was so dehydrated that she was hospitalized in her home country within hours of release from the institution. Her teeth have never been brushed. Her fontanel (soft spot) has never closed due to malnutrition. Her body stopped creating human growth hormone. In her 9 1/2 years, she has only consumed a watered-down formula. She is still in diapers.
She was taken directly from the airport in the US to PICU in a leading children's hospital. And, upon examination at the hospital they discovered fractures in her spine from being handled improperly with her fragile bone condition. There is no excuse.

Katie has been rescued. Just over 2 weeks ago, a loving family brought her home. Just over 2 weeks ago, Katie began to experience joy, peace, and contentment for the first time in her young life. Katie was just released from the hospital.

She is on a long road to good health. Look at the difference in her already! How could anyone let a helpless, voiceless child live in the condition that she was in? How can compassion be lacking to this degree?

There are others. Many others. They are simply existing, just as Katie did. My dear friend, Stephanie, and her family are pursuing another. Lina is in the same institution.

The setting in the photo looks nice, doesn't it....they always do. Don't be fooled. Lina is 5 years old. Her files say that she also weighs 11 pounds. Lina is diagnosed with congenital myopathy. This is a muscle disorder, not a growth disorder. Again, there is no excuse for her size. There is no excuse for her spending her life in a crib. There is no excuse for the lack of care and attention.

Lina's mommy will be at her side for the first adoption visit soon, hopefully by Christmas. Lina will soon experience the soothing caresses of her mother's touch for the first time...hands that truly love her...kisses....words of love whispered in her ear. If only she knew!

What does all of this have to do with me?

A couple of weeks after I first began following Katie's story, her parents hosted an online auction to benefit another family who is bringing two children home from this same institution. Kelten and Teagan also have a loving family working hard to get to them. I donated a small item to the auction. And, when the auction was over, I asked Katie's mom if there would be more auctions. I wanted participate again. Her reply was that there would be another in December, and that they were looking for someone to administrate the auction so that they could focus on sweet Katie who would be home by then.

Thank you for the open door, Father. Though they did not know me beyond a simple auction donation, they entrusted this endeavor to me. I've gained the incredible privilege of calling these sweet people friends. Lina's mother, Stephanie, has included me in the amazing "God moments" in their adoption process. This family has gone from adoption application to their dossier being in Lina's country in just one month. If you know anything about international adoption, you know the number of miracles contained in that statement. I cannot express the blessings that I have received personally in 6 short weeks as a result of these friendships.

The auction is running right now. Lina's story has spread around the country. There are over 100 items and each one has a precious, generous heart behind it. Countless numbers of people are coming together to work toward Lina's liberation. She will soon know the peace, joy, and contentment that comes from a loving family.

And yet there are others. There are so many others in this dark corner of the world. God is shining a light there. Forgotten children are no longer forgotten. Those with no voice are gaining spokesmen. I've seen our Father at work as a warrior for the weakest of his children. He loves them ferociously.

I was once an orphan...and He loved me ferociously. I was lonely, hopeless, helpless. He sent an advocate, a spokesman for me. He sent His Son to liberate me. I am now a joint-heir in His family.

The gospel and adoption are beautifully woven together by the gracious hand of God. In Christ, God has shown His love to us as our Father. He has reached down His hand of mercy to us in the loneliness of our sin, and he has raised us up as members of His family. Consequently, one of the clearest displays of the gospel in this life is when redeemed men and women extend a hand of mercy to children in need and bring them into their families. ~David Platt, foreword to Orphanology

I do not believe that every Christian family is called to adopt. But, I believe with all of my heart, that every believer is called to orphan care. There is a plethora of ways to be involved.

~Giving financially to support adoptive families

~Advocating for specific children who are at risk

~Praying for orphans

~Supporting an orphanage

~Foster Care

~Cheer leading for families in the adoption process

~Helping to create an adoption culture in your church

~Participation in adoption fundraisers

~Volunteering with orphan care organizations

And this is just the beginning. In what way is God calling you to be, as my friend Stephanie says, A Voice for the Voiceless?

A Visit From Ruo

2011-10-11T18:06:00.000-04:00

We had the rare privilege this summer of spending time with a family who have become dear friends. Their youngest daughter, Ruo, was Gracie's cribmate in China. Ruo's mommy and I encountered one another online just a couple of weeks after being matched with our daughters. They received their referral just a couple of days before we did. We had no idea at the time that our girls were playmates. In fact, we did not know this until one year ago today. While we were finalizing our adoption of Grace in Lanzhou, we asked some questions of the orphanage staff and discovered that our girls were not only in the same baby room, but were crib mates and traveled together to have their lips repaired. What a treasure that God has given us in allowing our families to connect so that they can keep this connection with their past. Ruo's family lives in another part of the country, but traveled through and spent a couple of days with us. What a wonderful blessing they are!

Our girls see each other for the first time in nearly a year.

Ruo and Gracie had fun trading shoes.

Playing in the river at Harper's Ferry

We look forward to visiting with them again soon!

And by the way...One year ago today this action made Gracie our daughter forever!

Birthday Celebration With A Purpose

2011-05-15T14:54:00.006-04:00

We had another party last night for Grace's Birthday.

We invited local friends and family to join us in a celebration of Chinese culture and to collect blankets for Pingliang Social Welfare Institute, which is where Gracie spend the first 17 months of her life. The precious ladies at Pingliang gave her the best care that they possibly could have. Pingliang is home to around 125 special kids, many of them who have cleft lip and palate just like our sweetie.

We asked friends to bring a new blanket in lieu of a gift. Over the next few months, we will ship several small packages to the orphanage. (Small packages=No duty fees.)

Besides collecting blankets, we also shared in some Chinese cusine.

Our menu included:

Cashew Chicken

Rice

Chicken Congee

Lanzhou Beef Lamian

Congee is a staple in China. Many people, across all economic and social levels, have congee at least once per day. Lamian is a unique beef dish that is prepared with an unusual variety of spices. It is found only in Gansu province, where Grace was born.

Of course, we had cake and ice cream as well. I finally get a chance to produce pretty cakes...instead of just Bakugan and dinosaurs :) I love making cakes for all my kids, but I have to admit that butterflies and ladybugs are fun!

The children received a goody bag with some Chinese toys and kiddie chopsticks. And, we played a epic game of Chinese jumprope at the end. Unfortunately my camera was not nearby when this started, so I hope I can get a few pics from friends. Let me just say that I had no idea how high some friends of ours can jump!

It was a lovely evening, shared with dear friends and family.

And some pretty scary people who walked in off of the street :)

Over 30 people came together to help us celebrate our little girl and her cultural heritage. Blankets are still coming in, but right now we have over 20. I will post another photo after we've gotten them all!

Happy Birthday, Gracie Mei!

2011-05-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

Our sweet little Gracie turned 2! It was so exciting to celebrate with her this year. It is hard to imagine that last year we had just seen her sweet face for the first time. She is so much a part of us now, that we can't imagine life without her here. Last year, we celebrated with only her photo...

And now...here she is! She's such a big girl and we had so much fun celebrating as a family. I had intended to let her mess in her cake, the way we did with the boys on their first birthdays. But, she's not a fan of messy hands, so we let that tradition slide. :)

One tradition that she had no problem jumping into...presents! Isn't it amazing how kids just know how to open them? And, how they know that there must be something fun inside?

Grace got a toy birthday cake that she can "blow" out the candles on (a great thing to learn for speech therapy). And, she also got a Little People Carnival set. She just loves playing with them.

And, her brothers do too!

Happy Birthday precious girl!!

Easter Fun

2011-05-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

Wow, it has been way too long since I have updated! So much has happened in the 6 months since we met our baby girl. Most recently, we celebrated Easter for the first time together. How much fun we've had, introducing her to a holiday that holds such special and joyful meaning because of Jesus' precious gift to us. We also, finally, got a decent family photo!

Of course, we enjoyed playing the traditional games of Easter as well. Gracie loved hunting eggs, she seemed to know just what to do.

Surgery and Beyond

2011-01-27T10:23:00.013-05:00

Grace's cleft palate repair surgery took place just over one week ago. I thought I would share a little about the experience and some photos throughout for those who are interested. First, the recovery room photos are a little rough. But, I want to post them for the benefit of other families facing this surgery. Multiple hospital staff told me that this is a really rough surgery for the little ones to go through. Of course, in the US, most children born with cl/cp have their surgeries before their first birthday. So, as children get older it is more difficult. By the way, did you know that cl/cp is the most common birth defect in the United States? Neither did I.

Of course, Grace couldn't eat anything after midnight the night prior to surgery. I got two packets of oatmeal into her just before bed. We had a 6 o'clock check-in time at the hospital so we stayed in a "hotel" connected to the hospital for families like us. (Our drive time from home during rush hour is an hour and forty-five minutes.) We went to the surgery waiting area and went through admissions. They called us back to surgery prep around 7:30. Thankfully, food and drink is prohibited in the waiting area because it is full of hungry children.

In the prep area they took her vitals, gave me a gown and footies to dress her in, and asked medical history questions. The surgical team and anesthesiologist came out to brief us on the procedure. And then, contrary to what we expected, they took Grace away from us fully awake. I later learned that it is safer to put a child her age to sleep in the O.R. Handing her over to the anesthesiologist while she cried and reached for me was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Surgery took about 2 hours and 15 minutes and that included the ear tube insertion. About 15 minutes after the surgeon came out to tell us that all was well, they called us back to recovery. She was in and out at that point, very swollen, and her mouth was crusted with blood. She had a gauze pack sewn into the roof of her mouth, and a tongue "holding stitch". The holding stitch had a long tail, and was hanging out of her mouth. It was, essentially, something for them to pull her tongue forward with should they need to intubate her quickly. She was also wearing the dreaded "no-nos" (arm restraints).

We stayed in recovery for a couple of hours, receiving multiple doses of two different narcotics to help her come out of anesthesia with minimal pain. Before moving us to a room, they removed the tongue stitch.

The first night was long, I held her all night long. She was uncomfortable and groggy, sleeping for 20 minutes at a time. During the night she started itching from the morphine so we transitioned to plain Tylenol for pain, which she did well with. The next morning two PA's from the plastic surgery team came in and clipped the stitches on the gauze pack and removed it. This made her a bit more comfortable. It took me a good part of the first day to gently remove the blood that was caked on her mouth. The corners of her mouth were cracked and sore from being propped open for surgery.

Grace was very resistant to receiving any food or fluids orally. Initially, I was told not to push it because she would decide that she wanted it eventually. But, when the end of day 1 rolled around without any improvement, we were place back on an IV so that she would not dehydrate. They finally told me that I was going to have to force the fluids or we wouldn't be able to go home the next day either. So, the wrestling matches began.

As she got some food on her stomach, she started to perk up and be ready to play. Once they disconnected the IV for the second time, we went for long rides in a wagon around the hospital. She loved this, and took me out to the wagon for a ride every time she felt up to it. Because of the increased fluid intake, we were released from the hospital around 4:00 on the 2nd day after surgery.

It took a full 6 days post-surgery for me to find a way to feed Grace that didn't involve wrestling and tears. A liquid diet is just no fun for a toddler. A dear friend brought us dinner one night and for dessert she had pudding. Simple, Jello Vanilla Cook & Serve pudding. It is now what we call, the "magic pudding". I can add a little of it to anything and Grace will take it from the Brecht Feeder (A large syringe with a small rubber tube on the end.) So, sitting in her high chair, with a selection of small toys, she will now eat from the feeder. And, she is taking more than double the amount that she was before.

On Tuesday we returned to the hospital for a post-surgery exam and were given a thumbs-up for a successful repair that seems to be holding completely. We learned this week that our surgical team has the lowest occurrence of fistula formation (post-repair holes in the palate) in the world...how cool is that? We were also give permission to return to a regular diet and remove the arm restraints on February 2, which will be 14 days post-surgery.

Grace is doing really well now. She has moments of crankiness...but so do I! Her sleep is better now that she is getting more to eat, although the arm restraints are a bit annoying for her. She has spent the day today playing with her brothers, and even taking a walk in her first real Maryland snow. We are so thankful for all of the prayers, encouragement, and food that our loving friends and family have provided. We are truly blessed!

Preparing for Surgery

2011-01-17T09:13:00.007-05:00

Grace with Snowbaby and the blanket we gave her in China, these will be going to the hospital with us.

I will spend the next 2 days preparing to take Grace to Children's National Medical Center for her palate repair and ear tube insertion. This is a day that I have looked forward to with anticipation and dreaded all at the same time. It is our privilege to meet this need in our precious little girl's life. At the same time, recovery is going to be lengthy and uncomfortable.

A sweet friend is coming tomorrow night to stay with the boys while Joel and I are in DC. Since Grace's surgery will be early on Wednesday, we've elected to stay in DC on Tuesday night. We discovered that Children's has a "hotel" of 30 rooms connected to the hospital where we can stay at a discounted rate and then walk next door to the hospital that morning...what a blessing!

We will not know the time of surgery until the night before. I will try to update the blog once we have a time. Grace will be given a sedative and then she will be given general anesthesia through a mask while I hold her. She will not remember the trip to the O.R. We will be given a pager so that they can update us through surgery and let us know when she is in recovery. The surgeon will meet with us privately to discuss the outcome and then we will go to recovery to be with her when she wakes. We will spend at least one night in the hospital, possible more. They will be looking for markers like her consuming clear liquids and good pain management before discharge. She will be on a liquid diet for a while and will be in arm restraints called "no-nos" to keep her from putting anything in her mouth.

A Peek Inside Her Mouth. (The cleft is from gumline to uvula, all the way through to her nasal cavitiy.)

I think I've stressed about packing for this almost as much as I did for China. Thankfully, I have suggestions from friends who have gone before me on this journey.

We appreciate your prayer for our little girl. She won't understand why this is happening. But, we know it will be a great opportunity for further bonding. Putting your child through pain for their future benefit is one of the most difficult things a parent has to do. I'm so thankful that she won't remember this.

A Favorite Activity~Playing with the Laundry

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-15T05:06:00.003-05:00

One Month Today

2010-11-07T21:06:00.007-05:00

It is hard to believe it, but it has already been one month since Grace was placed in my arms. It makes my head spin to think that time has passed so quickly. She is adjusting beautifully to life with us. She seems to enjoy the chaos of a household with ~~two~~ three rowdy boys.

Here are some of the milestones that we have passed this month:
1-Daddy is no longer the Yeti :)
(If you don't understand this, read THIS POST)
2-Two new teeth
3-Learning to sit up from a lying-down position
4-Learning to push up and support weight with her arms when lying on her belly
5-Learning to crawl
6-Learning to take some unassisted steps (I've counted 12 in a row so far.)
7-Learning to Clap when we say "yay"
8-Learning to give kisses
9-Learning to wave goodbye
10-Saying "uh oh"
11-Learning what "no" means :)
12-Learning to respond to her new name
13-Learning what it means to feel full, and pushing food away when that happens
14-Becoming secure enough in her food supply that she will refuse food that she dislikes.
15-Learning that Pasta is her favorite food

There have been so many things. These really are just the tip of the iceberg. I could not have imagined that she would do so well.

She's done all of this, by the way, with a chronic double ear infection which our doctor suspects that she has had for a very long time. She has been on some form of antibiotic for nearly 3 weeks. (This would explain the miserable 15-hour plane ride home.) We hope that this third antibiotic has done the trick.

We will be taking her to Washington DC on Tuesday to meet with all of the specialists on her cleft team. The appointments will last from 10:00 AM to 4:30 PM. We will meet with an ENT, a Plastic Surgeon, and 5 or 6 other specialists. We hope to come away with a good idea about her future medical needs and treatment. We also hope to have her first surgery scheduled. We were expecting, before finding out that her lip had been repaired, to have 2 surgeries in the first 6 months. It appears that she will only need one. There will be more surgeries when she is older as well.

Our current focus is learning how to live life in a house where we are outnumbered (a friend told me that we'd gone from "man to man defense" to "zone defense"), and learning all about this new little person that God has blessed us with. What a personality she has! She is a strong little girl, what plans must God have for her life? We sure are glad that she has two incredible big brothers to help watch after her.

Here's our crew: The Cowboy, The Jedi Knight, and The Ballerina

We're Back!

2010-10-31T08:48:00.003-04:00

We had a wonderful trip. Grace is amazing! We will be posting continued updates on this original blog, including some Halloween photos in the next few days. Thanks for all of the prayers and support over the past months!

A Visit to the US Consulate

2010-10-18T14:05:00.001-04:00

Today was a big day. All of our paperwork was processed at the US Consulate today....that infamous Consulate Appointment that we waited for with bated breath a couple of months ago. I am pleased to announce that, contrary to my greatest fear, I did not forget any important documents at home. We had more than we needed in fact, imagine that! :)

Our paperwork breezed through the consular offices today, and we went a few hours ago to swear an oath that all of the information that we had provided was accurate. (I thought is was the citizenship oath...it turns out that they skip that step in adoption.) So, on Wednesday we will recieve Grace's US Visa, which will allow her onto US soil. We also receive an immigration packet that we are not allowed to open. When we land in Newark on Thursday, we will hand that packet to an immigration official who will check it, stamp it, and allow us access to the US. When those documents are stamped, and we pass beyond that desk, Grace will be a US citizen~Yippee!

I actually got a little choked up at the swearing ceremony today...it was a really neat experience.

We then came back to the island and celebrated with a meal at Lucy's...a legendary place for adoptive families. Then we did a little shopping :) There are a couple of shops here that donate some or all of their proceeds to orphan care in China, which is really cool. I have purchased one special piece. It is an embroidered silk that was once part of a garment, probably belonging to a peasant's wife. It is between 150 and 200 years old. It is a portion of the "100 Birds" design which represents happiness. At the center is a Pheonix which is very popular in Chinese art, it is the symbol for "princess". Among the birds are embroidered peaches, which both Grace's and our hometowns are known for. The coolest part? The silk was collected from the region of China that Grace is from. I will get it framed when we get home.

While shopping, I also asked one of the ladies in a shop about the meaning of Grace's Chinese name. I'd seen a couple of different possibilities. Upon looking at the Chinese Characters, the shopowner informed me that Ruo Yun means, "Pure as a Beautiful Cloud". How cool is that?

Tomorrow is a play day for us as we wait for the visa to be processed. We will be taking a dinner cruise on the Pearl River, which we can see from our room, tomorrow evening.

A new friend told me about the most amazing thing today. On these long intercontinental flights, there are a limited number of seats that have a space for a baby basinette...so the baby can lay down to sleep! We called continental and they have reserved these seats for us for our 16.5 hour flight from Hong Kong to New Jersey. This means that Grace can actually get some rest! And, I might be able to as well :) Even better, the seats are at the front of the section (just behind first class) so there will be no seats directly in front of us, but a wall...more leg room! Some times it is the little things in life :) I'm gonna go find that lady tomorrow and hug her neck!

Love y'all, Be home soon!

Worship

2010-10-17T14:04:00.000-04:00

We had a unique opportunity to worship in a Christian church this morning with a dual language service. The building was filled, and the courtyard held people standing and sitting. Loudspeakers broadcast the service to those who could not get inside. I ended up walking Grace for the entire sermon, as she continued "singing" well after the music had ended. We so enjoyed visiting this little church and seeing worship take place in Grace's native tounge. I think it is very cool that her first church experience was in her homeland. Though she will not remember it, this too has become a part of her story.

Before going to church, I decided to take the opportunity to take her "red couch photo" while she was dressed up. The White Swan hotel has a lobby area with these red velvet couches that have become a traditional spot for photos for adoptive families. In fact, later this week we will gather with our entire group for a photo of all of the kiddos adopted this week on the same red couches. I'll post those when the time comes, but the ones I took today are just so sweet that I had to share them. This was a rare moment that Grace allowed me to put her down without making a big fuss.

Tonight we hope to meet up with a group of friends that I've made online who are all here this week. I don't know if we will make it, because we also have an appointment to put our paperwork in order for the consulate appointment tomorrow. Tomorrow afternoon we will travel to the US Consulate (which used to be right next door, but has been moved across town, ugh!) There we will take the oath of citizenship on Grace's behalf.

That's about it for now, Joel still feels crummy, please pray that he will whip this thing so that he can feel good for the remainder of our trip.

Blessings~Amy

Survival Mode

2010-10-16T14:03:00.001-04:00

I apologize for not updating you in several days. Mommy had to go into survival mode as Grace decided that sleep at night was optional. I napped when she did. We seem to have found a good routine for getting to sleep now, it still involves crying. But, we have had 10 hours of sleep for the last two nights...yay!

We are now in Guangzhou, Guangdong province. More about that in a minute.

We traveled yesterday morning to the airport, and stopped to do a little sightseeing on the way at a park on the Yellow River. When you look at the photos, notice the rafts that you could ride made of dried, inflated sheep skins and bamboo. Joel was disappointed that we didn't have time to try it out. These rafts are one of many Muslim influences in Grace's home province. There is a large Muslim population, and that is reflected in many things including the local cuisine. There is a distinct flavor and smell to Lanzhou food. It often includes cinnamon, which surprised me. But, where we use it in baking, they use it in beef broths, very tasty. There is also a nice tea that I tried called San PaoTi. It is unique to the area, and looks almost like soup, with many dried things floating in it.

We knew that Lanzhou was the most polluted city in the world. Because of the many refineries surrounding the city, and the high mountains that are beyond them, all of the smog that is produced is trapped over the city. But, we arrived at the end of a week-long hiatus for most businesses, due to the national holiday. So, the air had time to clear. We enjoyed blue skies for our entire visit. As we were leaving town, we experienced a bit of the norm, as we drove through the refineries, the smog was beginning to build again. At times it looked like we were driving through fog. Locals had cloths tied over their mouths and noses as they worked. My eyes and sinuses burned. We are thankful to have had the opportunity to visit when we did, and to avoid most of this.

We arrived at the famous White Swan Hotel around 5PM. It sits on Shamian Island in Guangzhou which I've decided to call "adoption land". This city is a necessary stop for any American adopting from China. Many adoptive families stay at the White Swan. And, the Island is certainly set up to cater to us. There are restaurants with american fare and 80's music, little shops selling baby clothes, diapers, and squeaky shoes. The shops also lend strollers to the families for free (hoping to build a relationship and earn your business.) This island was once the home to several foriegn consulates (including ours), and I believe it was once called the French Concession area. You can certainly see the French influence in architecture. It has the feel of a beach town, with palm trees and other trees that have something like spanish moss hanging from them. As we walked through town last night, Joel mentioned that it reminded him of New Orleans, and it certainly does. We enjoyed Lanzhou very much, but in one day we went from a cold desert to a balmy beach resort. It is very pleasant here. It is also much easier to order food :)

This morning Grace had her medical exam, which was our most unpleasant part of the trip. The actual exam was really no big deal. We had a height/weight check, ear/nose/throat, and then a doctor looked her over to make sure that her health matched the medical report from the orphanage. Then they checked her immunization records and determined that she needed 6 shots to enter the US. Bless her heart. Since I didn't want her to connect anything unpleasant with Joel, I took her and held her for the shots. It was terrible. She was a sweaty mess when it was over. Wanna know why she needed them?

Well, back when the Hague treaty was signed, someone forgot to include the part that existed before the treaty that said that adoptive children could wait to be immunized in the US. It was essentially a clerical error. So, ever since the treaty was signed a few years ago, all kids have to have all of these awful shots at once. Thanks to the hard work of petitioning adoptive parents, last month a bill passed the Senate to do away with this. But, it still has to come to vote in the House, which happens in the next few weeks. Hopefully, by the end of the year, this traumatic start to a new life will have been done away with.

~She steps down from her soapbox~

So, now she is sleeping it off. We started her on Motrin this morning to help with the discomfort. She did okay, and even ate a hearty lunch after it was over. Joel is feeling a bit under the weather, and is sleeping now too. We brought antibiotics with us, and he's started taking them, just in case. Hopefully he will wake up feeling better. So, there is a quick recap of many thing that have happened. We love y'all! Blessings!

Two Girls and a Yeti - Another Post From Joel

2010-10-14T14:00:00.000-04:00

One of the things our agency and other wise people warned us about was the issue of attachment. Sometimes, the child will not adapt well early on to either parent, which creates a high-stress situation for parents and adoptive children that can last for several weeks. The most common scenario however, is that the child attaches to one parent (usually Mom, since many of these children have not had much exposure at all to men in the orphanage) while keeping their distance from the other.

Where our Grace is concerned, it looks like dear ol' Dad drew the short straw. :) She has quickly attached herself to Mom, but continues to be highly suspicious of me.

A couple of days ago Amy jokingly said to Grace "he looks like the abominable, I know." I quickly corrected my wife, reminding her that we are, in fact, on the Asian continent and therefore I cannot be the abominable snow monster. I must be a Yeti.

It stuck.

Now I'm "the Yeti."

Currently, she occassionally lets me play with her; "play" of course being tightly defined as her throwing toys on the floor and me picking them up to hand back to her. Come to think of it maybe I'm not a Yeti after all. Maybe I'm the golden retriever!

For the past several days its been "two steps forward, one step back" where my new relationship with this little girl is concerned. I'm totally OK with it, and thankful that I was warned in advance of this possibility. Plus, it makes the "connective" moments with her all the more rewarding. But I sense that the best reward through this process is what I'm learning from this little one; a highly spiritual lesson she doesn't even realize she is teaching!

Think about it this way. 18 months ago I began, with my wife, planning to adopt this little one whom I had never met, and who had never met me, into my family. Enormous sums of time and money have been invested in this effort. Now that she is legally ours, she bears my name, my provision, my protection (brief warning to emerging young men, I WILL kill for her!), and all the blessings that come with being a part of a nuclear family. God willing, she will never again know what it means to be hungry. She will never legitimately fear for her future. She will never lack anything she needs, and all of this will be due to her father's provision.

Yet as an adopted child, she doesn't yet fully understand all of this, and so her response to me is one of high suspicion and fear. To her, I'm just a strange, scary-looking Yeti who simply doesn't belong in this new picture she has now become a part of.

At the same time, she doesn't mind sleeping in this lush hotel room I'm providing, nor does she object to all the wonderful new food she has at her disposal because of her new Daddy. Additionally, she also doesn't mind using the Yeti if it suits her purposes. This morning at the breakfast table Mom told her "no," to which she responded by looking up at me, hoping she could "divide the house" and get her way. It would seem that Daddy isn't so scary after all if he can be used to accomplish her agenda.

In short, she now enjoys the full range of blessing that is available to her as an adopted child. But currently, she has no real desire to develop a relationship with the one who has provided these blessings to her.

In other words, she is very much like all the rest of us.

Scripture tells us that before the world was created, God chose us to be His own. Before we were even born He developed a master plan that included us belonging in His family. At the right time, He sent Jesus Christ into time and space to die as our substitute, bearing the wrath of God against sin in our place. Furthermore, He drew us to Himself, and literally "adopted" us into His family, making us co-heirs with His only begotten, blessing us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies, and providing for us what Paul says in an inheritance so great that our natural eyes, ears and brains can't even fathom what is in store for us.

And how do we respond to such great news? From birth, we seek our own way. We treat the Father with disdain. We don't mind enjoying His blessings, its just the relationship with Him that we aren't that interested in. We are sometimes afraid of Him, sometimes using Him, sometimes caustic toward Him, many times abusive of His gifts.

And what does the Father do in response? He continues to love and pursue until we are truly His. He doesn't give up, and He ALWAYS succeeds!

Yep, this darling little girl is teaching me more than she knows. It is truly an honor to be her Daddy, and such a joy to emulate, as much as any rotten-to-the-core, fallen man can, the actions of my heavenly Father toward my own daughter.

More pics are coming soon, by the way. :) Thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers.

-Joel

A Bath, A Park, A Zoo, and Famous Noodles

2010-10-12T13:59:00.001-04:00

Grace had her first bath. I'm not sure that she enjoyed it, but she accepted it without complaint. She did enjoyed being rubbed down with lotion, though.

We all slept pretty well last night. I am so very thankful for the foam mattress topper that I managed to get into my suitcase. In China, the nicer your hotel~the harder your bed. We are in the nicest hotel in Lanzhou, quite a bit out of our league, frankly. So, we have hard beds and stiff backs.

We visited the city zoo today. They have a Panda, which they are very proud of. We saw several animals we had never heard of before. There was a common housecat in the pen with the pheasants. We couldn't figure out how he got in, but he sure looked like he wanted out. We were the main attraction for much of our time there. Many people, particularly older men and women, want to come and see Grace, ask where we are from, and find out about our other children. They are very sweet and all say kind things to Grace about all of the love that she will have with our family. They have all been very happy to see one of their orphan children find a home. Once when we stopped in the park outside the zoo to listen to a pick-up musical preformance by locals, we drew most of the crowd away from the musicians. I pulled out a photo album with the boys' and our extended family. The people looked through all of the photos and talked about how the boys look like us, and how my mom and I look alike, and how Joel and his brother look alike.

We were at the foot of a rather tall mountain, and kept hearing people calling out to one another. Our guide told us that some of the old people climb the mountain every day for excercise and that the ones at the top were calling out to the ones who were farther down the mountain. I do not know if they were calling out words of encouragement or teasing them for not making it to the top yet :) Excercise is very important to the older people here (60s and above) and they spend a lot of time at it.

We walked through part of the oldest section of this 2,000 year-old city while looking for a taxi. Our guide told us that much of it would soon be demolished for the government to put in new apartment buildings. The people whose homes are demolished will be given a new apartment. She said they were very happy about this.

Our next stop was at one of the more than 300 Lanzhou Noodle restaurants. This city is famous for it's hand-pulled noodles cooked in a special beef broth. *Trisha~I understand why you loved coming home to that smell when you made the recipe. It is wonderful! We thoroughly enjoyed that meal. And, I learned how to eat foot-long noodles with chopsticks!

Grace continues to come out of her shell a little at a time. We are seeing more and more of her true personality. She sings often, and loves to play imitating games. She also let Joel get very close to her while making similar sounds back and forth at the zoo. She even reached out and touched his beard. When we got back to the room, he sat down on the end of the bed next to her. He was able to touch her hair for the first time and rub her back a little. This is huge progress. She was still nervous about it, but didn't start crying this time.

Another huge milestone in this process is poop. Really! Every morning the guides ask if the baby has pooped. Some children stress so much that they won't even do that, and they can get sick if that goes on for too long. The saying is that the first poop belongs to the orphanage, and the second one is the family's. In other words, the first one doesn't count after you get the baby. Well...not only is Grace a champion eater, she's a champ in this arena as well. She truly is a Rainey :) (Sorry to those of you who think that is TMI..)

She is sleeping now, I have taken a nap, and Joel is working on one too. When she wakes up we will go out with another family that we ran into from Indiana who just adopted a 2-year old boy, Joshua. We've been hanging out together some and sharing experiences.

We love you all, and enjoy so much getting up in the morning to read your comments. Thank you so much for your prayers. We have certainly felt them. Tomorrow is another day of touring, including the provincial museum. Grace's paperwork will be finished by Thursday and we leave this wonderful city on Friday.

By the way, Trisha, our guide is your guide's wife :) I've heard some great stories about your family, I think you made your mark on Lanzhou!

It's Legal!

2010-10-11T13:57:00.000-04:00

The daughter of our hearts is now legally our daughter in every way, Praise the Lord! We went to the civil affairs office this morning and processed the necessary documents to make her ours. There is more paperwork, of course, regarding her passport, visa, citizenship, etc. But, in the eyes of both governments, she is officially ours. The photo I'm adding with her footprint being made was the step the finalized the adoption. Also, there is a photo of Joel, Grace, and I with the assistant director of the orphanage.

Her health appears excellent. She will certainly plump up over the next few weeks, but she has been very well cared for. She came to us in the outfit that we sent her in a care package several months ago. It was snowing in her hometown when they left yesterday morning, the ladies showed us pictures on their phones, so she was bundled in multiple layers.

She has done beautifully. She is a shy girl, and buries her face in mama's shoulder when she gets nervous. So far, she is still nervous around Joel. We were told to expect that she would attach to one of us and avoid the other for a while. He has been able to hand her a toy, give her a snack, etc...but then she is ready to turn away from him. We are taking baby steps :)

She reaches for me and clings to me, which are good signs. Some babies need to be taught this. She is eating absolutely anything that we will give her...western or eastern food...it makes no difference! We visited a restaurant this afternoon just down from our hotel that she really enjoyed. (So did we!) As you can see, her lip is repaired, which was a surprise to us. Her palate is still open, but she eats like a champ. We aren't even bothering with the cleft bottles we brought, we picked up regular bottles today like the one from the orphanage. She does not like to leave a table with food still on it, and seems to have no "fullness meter". I've employed a little trick that we learned from our friends, the Turners. We have to put food in her hand to walk away with.

I want to add some information for our sweet friends, the Turners, who recently returned from adopting RuoYi from the same orphanage. Trisha, you won't believe this, but I found out the our girls were in the same room together, and they were playmates. I also found out that the girls went to Beijing last winter together for their surgeries. They were there for two months. Grace's lip repair looks very good, just like RuoYi's.

She can stand, and take steps while holding our fingers. She does not crawl, and does not push up when laying on her belly. We have been playing games to work on upper body strength. She will catch up on those quickly. She has a sweet smile, and giggles when tickled. She also has this little happy dance she does when she sees food that she really likes. She rocks back and forth side to side really fast, it is so funny. She is really good at imitating what we do. When I combed her hair this morning, she reached for the comb and made the same movements. When I clap, she claps, often the same number of times that I did. She is a smart, funny girl. We are so blessed to have been chosen to be her mama and baba.

A Word From Joel

2010-10-10T13:56:00.000-04:00

Hey folks! I thought I'd take this shift on the site, since about four hours ago my wife developed an "appendage" that has yet to turn her loose. :)

We arrived in Lanzhou, Gansu Province a little before 2 PM China time, and were promptly picked up by our guide Jessica. We arrived at our hotel at about 3 PM, and were told we would meet our daughter within the hour. Just before 4 there was a knock at our door, and suddenly, 18 months of praying, filling out forms, dreaming, seeing the first pictures, praying some more, signing our names at least 1000 times, etc. all came to a wonderful climax.

Right now we are introducing her to french fries (we like to eat healthy you know) and she has quickly attached herself to Mom. But she's still not too sure about that big hairy white dude her nannys have told her is Daddy.

I however, think she is the most adorable little girl I've ever seen! I'll wait patiently for the privilege of holding her, and it will be worth it. For now, sharing french fries is fun enough.

The nurse and Assistant Director at the orphanage, along with our guide In Lanzhou, have all been extremely helpful. Tomorrow we start the process of China paperwork, medical exams, and all other things neccesary to tie up loose ends on the China side before heading on the 15th to our consulate.

We look forward to seeing everyone soon with a brand new member of the Rainey family! For now, check out the new pics, and thanks for the continued prayers!

It Certainly is A Great Wall!

2010-10-09T13:55:00.000-04:00

We did visit THE wall today, and climbed as high as my goofy, swimmy head would allow. It struck me as funny that I had written about the "ancient" hutongs from the 1400's yesterday when I heard our guide mention dates in the 400's for that wall. It really is amazing, stretching over 6,000 miles across China. I would love to post photos, but even my old photos that are the header for this blog aren't showing up for me now. Hopefully this will change once we get to Lanzhou. If it does not, I will email a few to a friend (Hi Denise!) and ask her to post them from the US.

We had some other adventures today, including a meal that included a whole, steamed fish. (For those of you who went to Antigua with me, remeber Clarence? Ha Ha) That fish gave some in our group the creeps, but Joel and I thought he was tasty. We asked what kind it was and our guide called it a Grassfish. One of the men in our group asked if that is a Chinese Carp, he assured us it was not :)

We head to the airport in the morning to travel to Grace's province. I was handed a document today that said, in a nutshell, we agree for you to adopt this child, please proceed to the appropriate office in her province with this document to complete the process. WooHoo! We were told that we will not meet her until Monday, but history with our orphanage reflects families receiving their child on Sunday evening. We arrive mid-afternoon, and have packed the bags in such a way to be ready to meet her immediately upon arrival at our hotel. We have also learned that most plans are fluid in China...which gives us much hope :) Either way, within 36 hours I will be holding my baby girl. I wish I could express how this feels, but I don't know the words. I am excited, nervous, awed and humbled...and that doesn't even begin to describe it.

Please pray for us especially during this part of our trip. These first few days with Grace could be challenging, depending on how she responds to us. Also, pray for the young lady who was to be our guide in-province. We learned tonight that she is very ill and that they are sending a replacement for her. There are several other families that will travel together to a different province tomorrow to receive their children. There are some huge unknowns facing some of them. When you pray for us, please remember them as well.

Lastly, because internet access has been a little sketchy at times, I'm not going to respond to your individual comments. Please know that we are reading them and that they are a great encouragement to us. We are blessed to have wonderful friends and family supporting us during this journey. Hopefully, our next post will be the one we've all been waiting for!

Reflections on Two Days in Beijing

2010-10-08T13:53:00.002-04:00

I tried to post about 8 hours ago, and the internet wasn't cooperative. We have discovered, as some friends before us did, that we cannot upload photos here in Beijing. I will keep trying, but suspect that this will not change until we arrive in Lanzhou.

Yesterday, Joel and I were able to explore Beijing on our own as we were the first from our agency to arrive. We began our day at our hotel breakfast buffet for an eclectic meal. My plate held pork buns, milk buns, watermelon, baked sweet potato, fried rice, scrambled eggs, bean congee and Spam. Also available were salad, black pickled eggs, pimiento loaf, and pastries.

We then converted some US dollars into Chinese Yuan, and we were ready to explore. We acquired a card from the front desk that has the names of popular destinations and our hotel in Chinese and English. From there, it was simple enough to hail a taxi and point to our desired destination on the card. First we traveled to the Temple of Heaven which was used twice a year in ancient China for offerings made by the Emporer to Celestial bodies, primarily the Sun. It is a beautiful complex with grounds that seem to be a community gathering place. We walked through traditional Chinese gardens filled with ancient Cypress trees and found people playing games, playing instruments, and having sing-a-longs. Since we were at our own pace, it was a truly relaxing time with perfect, if smoky, weather.

Temple of Heaven Courtyards

Temple of Heaven

I fell in love with the detail.

The architecture is amazing.

Dragons are everywhere.

Later we walked down the block to the Pearl Market that Joel had purchased from several years ago. We had fun picking out pearls for a necklace for Grace when she is older. My sweetie even blessed me with a special treasure from Cathie's shop. We watched our sales lady, Stacey, knot our pearl strands.

The Pearl Market. The higher the floor, the more expensive the merchandise.

Stacey hand-knotted our pearls while we watched.

Then, as jet-lag got the best of us, we caught a taxi back to our hotel and found a restraunt with a photo menu for dinner. It is nice to be able to point out what you want to eat when no one can understand a word that you say :)

This morning began with a similar breakfast selection. Then, we met other families from our agency for some touring. We are the only family from the East Coast in our group. We are also the only ones not going to the same province that they are all going to. We will separate on Sunday to travel to our children's provinces, then we will meet back up in another city to process our children's visas.

Our first event of the day was a rickshaw ride through a traditional hutong, which is an ancient neigborhood with tiny streets, over 600 years old. These neighborhoods were only available to members of the royal bloodline or members of the court. The only way to live in one now is to be the descendant of one of those families. Our rickshaw driver was an older gentleman with a sense of humor. He thought he was Mario Andretti, and kept racing past the others in our group and giggling about it. He also like grabbing onto the back of other rickshaws to make it harder for their drivers to pedal.

A view in the Hutong.

Our guide, George.

Waiting Rickshaws.

Bike outside a home.

A pet?

We then visted a shop to see how silk cocoons are processed by hand into fabric. Of course, there were many lovely silk items available for purchase there. Lunch took place at a restaurant run by one of the 55 minority groups in China, the Dai. The food was very nice. We learned that Kung Pao Chicken is a Dai dish. My favorite was duck meat, breaded in something I couldn't identify and fried to resemble a giant hush puppy.

Silk web being pulled to become a comforter.

Cocoons are soaked and then pulled apart over these hoops to stretch and dry.

Next our great guide, George, took us to Tiannamen Square and the Forbidden City. All I can say is that they are both massive. The Forbidden City was the residence of the Emporer in ancient China, and consisted of 9,999 1/2 rooms. (That 1/2 kept him from equalling the Jade Emporer, his father, whose palace in heaven had 10,000 rooms.) We learned much history today, and walked about 10 miles (maybe a tiny exaggeration).
A Lovely Garden Behind the Forbidden City.

Fu Lion in the Forbidden City.

Observations:

~In the US we drive defensively, Chinese drive offensively...this makes for crazy traffic but few accidents. They are not distracted drivers. Even though signs and signals seem to be merely suggestions, none of the cars are banged up or scratched. Bicycle riders are fearless!
And, bicycles are everywhere!

~Street Vendors: Wow can they be persistent! Our guide calls them mosquitos. Many are hucksters, and we have been taught to completely ignore them. If you even say no in response, it causes them to follow you longer. Can you believe that you can get a Rolex on the street in China for $5? WOW! :)

This fruit was for sale everywhere. We never learned what it was.

~Ancient Culture: It is astounding to think that the buildings we were standing in today were over 600 years old. We saw porcelain and Jade from the Ming Dynasty, that's the 1400's. How does something so fragile survive so long? Being from a relatively young country, it is almost too difficult to comprehend.

~Beijing is very eclectic: Our breakfast isn't the only thing that is eclectic here. Beijing is a global community. This would explain the Reggae bar that we saw in the 600 year-old hutong. The architecture reflects this as well. Ultra-modern buildings are interspersed among ancient buildings. Some high-rises look similar to a US big city, and some are topped with a pagoda-style roof.

That's more than enough for now! Tomorrow we visit the Great Wall, a Jade factory, and an acrobatics show. Then, the next day, we travel to Lanzhou alone to meet our baby girl...we're almost there, sweetie!

Guess what we brought to China with us?

A stinkbug...since they are native to Asia, this guy is just visiting his homeland :)

We're There!

2010-10-06T13:51:00.001-04:00

We arrived at our hotel almost exactly 24 hours after leaving home Tuesday morning. (It is now Thursday morning in China.) Thirteen hours in an airplane are definitely longer than 13 hours on the ground, by the way :)

We are at the Holiday Inn Beijing, and have been interested to see how much it caters to Westerners, and yet how few are actually here.

We noticed that everything was very foggy as we landed yesterday, and have since discovered that there are a lot of what we assume are forest fires near the city. A large section of China is covered with smoke right now. No worries, there isn't any danger, just a lot of haze.

Since we arrived during the National Holiday, the airport was deserted, and the traffic was mild. We are one day ahead of our group, so we are about to venture out on our own to see what we can find to get into. The Temple of Heaven and the Pearl Market are our goal.

No fun photos to share yet, I'm sure we will have some tomorrow, though!

Blessings!

The Red Thread

2010-10-01T13:44:00.001-04:00

There is an ancient Chinese proverb that says:

"An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."

This proverb is recited often in the realm of Chinese adoption. Sometimes the telling of it is deeper, stating that when a child is born an invisible red thread ties them to the people who will be of great importance in their life. As they grow, the thread is pulled tighter, drawing these people to them.

A few weeks ago it crossed my mind to look back at my daytimer for May 2009 to see what we were doing when Grace was born. I was stunned when I realized that the week of her birth was the same week that Joel and I felt the call to pursue adoption. In fact, she was discovered at the front gate of her orphanage on the 6th, and within 24 hours of that date we had made the commitment to adopt and begun searching for her. That started with following God's leading to the China adoption program, and then being led to our amazing agency. We submitted our application to CCAI about a month later.

I believe that the red thread does exist, and that my Father has the needle in his hand. He is knitting together our family in a way that we never could have done on our own. In an obscure town in the interior of China, a little girl is waiting for a family that she doesn't yet know. In His infinite wisdom, he chose her as our daughter.

Leavin' On A Jet-Plane....

2010-09-03T13:43:00.000-04:00

It has been a CRAZY week! We were assigned a consulate appointment for October 18th. This means that we will leave for China on October 5th, and we will meet our baby girl on October 10th. Gotcha day....the date will be 10.10.10.

We missed getting a September consulate appointment by 1 day. And, I have to admit that I was pretty disappointed. The Lord quickly reminded me that His timing is perfect, which He has reinforced just today (that's another journal entry).

Our international plane tickets have been purchased. We are traveling to Beijing one day early as this affected the combined total of our plane tickets by thousands of dollars. (AACK!) We will arrive on 10/6. The seventh is the final day of a national holiday, and that's the only reason I can come up with for such a crazy ticket price! So, we will arrive before our travel guide. Joel is quite comfortable navigating Beijing, so we will tackle it on our own for that one day.

Our general itinerary will be:

10/5 Depart

10/6 Arrive in Beijing, mid-afternoon (around 1 am Eastern Time)

10/7-9 Tour Beijing

10/10 Fly to Lanzhou (This is the capital of Grace's province)

10/?? Fly to Guangzhou (Around the 15th, this is the location of the US Consulate)

10/18 Consulate Appointment

10/19 Oath taking Ceremony

10/20 Receive Grace's US Visa

10/20 Fly to Hong Kong (overnight layover)

10/21 Depart for and arrive in US

Traditionally, from the other families I know that have traveled to Grace's province, the nannies and orphanage director are waiting at the hotel with your child when you arrive. We may very well see her when we walk in the front door. I have much to share about her province, but I will do that seperately. I will say this much, it is a remote part of the interior of China. We will most likely be the only Westerners in the area. It is definitely, "the road less traveled." We also understand that this will make us quite the novelty. We shouldn't have a hard time making new friends!

There will also be many other various appointments along the way, including a medical exam for Grace in Guangzhou. We may not have all of that in writing before we leave, but are confident in the expertise of our guides who will have navigated many adoptions before ours.

We will be holding our baby girl in just 37 days

Trave Approval!

2010-08-30T13:42:00.000-04:00

We just received travel approval to go and get our little girl...we are ecsatic! We hope to get a consulate appointment toward the end of September, which will have us leaving around the 13th. Help us pray that this is the case, otherwise our trip will be delayed by 3 weeks. I'll share more when we know!
c

A Room of Her Very Own

2010-08-22T13:23:00.002-04:00

Parents who are adopting internationally, as we are, are taught to be prepared for a number of possible institution-related behaviors. Some children are taught to self-soothe by sticking their finger in their ear or sucking on the corner of a towel. Some children rock themselves constantly for stimulation. Others, coming from a situation where food has been limited, hoard food in pockets or overeat for fear that the abundance of food may not continue. Some children do not cry in the beginning, becuase they have learned that crying brings no comfort, no result. Nannies are not able to respond to every child every time they cry. So, many children just stop doing it. There are a thousand other variables, and every child is different.

Recently, I was reading a post by a fellow adoptive parent about some unique tendancies she was facing with her daughter. This precious girl, adopted from an orphanage internationally as an older child, was in the habit of hiding odd little things around the house. Eventually, her mom asked why she was doing this. Her reply, "I've never had things that belong just to me, and I want to hide my things now. I don't know why. I know that no one will take them here, but I can't help it."

It had not really occured to me until reading this post that children living in many orphanages have no personal belongings. Of course, this makes sense. It would be a logistical nightmare to keep up with whose clothes were whose if you were doing laundry for over 100 kids. I think that one of the small joys of our early days with Grace will be giving her things that will belong to her. I wonder how long it will take for the concept of "belonging" to occur to her. How long will it take for her little mind to comprehend that the doll that I've kept next to my computer for the past 15 months is hers to keep? How long will it take for her trust in us to build and for her to realize that she belongs with us?

One of our first big opportunities to show her that she belongs here will come on the day that we bring her home. My mom and dad just spent the past week here helping me prepare Grace's new room. It is wonderfully soft and girly, and I love it. I find myself walking by and just staring into the room, trying to imagine her sleeping under her soft blanket in the crib that her Daddy just put together.

I know that trust will come only through patience and time. But I think it is going to be a wonderful experience teaching this little one that she is our daughter, and she always will be.
Seth's old dresser got a new life with paint, glass knobs, and a wood applique.

A lovely shower gift that matches her room perfectly!

An old lamp shade, painted white. A white bed sheet, cut into strips and made into raw-edged yo-yos. Rosettes glued to the shade with pearls in the center. Girly lamp for under $5.

The Rattle Heard Round the World

2010-08-16T13:22:00.000-04:00

We have precious friends, newly gained, who are in China right now finalizing the adoption of their precious girl. Their daughter is 2 months older than Grace and is from the same orphanage. We suspect that they are playmates.

A few weeks before they left, my friend offered to take something to the orphanage director (who would be delivering their daughter to them) for Grace. Not wanting to take up too much of their limited luggage space, I found a small pink rattle and shipped it to my friend. I attached a slip of paper to the rattle with Grace's Chinese name in Chinese Characters.

The morning after my friends met their daughter, I got an email. My friend said that she had indeed given the rattle to the director. When she pointed to the name on it, the director's face lit up with a smile. Through the interpreter, she told them that she had heard that we would be coming very soon to adopt RuoYun.

When I read that message...well...I burst into tears. I'm so excited for my friends. Adding to that the surreal thought that the rattle that I bought in Westminister a few weeks ago has traveled to the other side of the planet, to rural northwestern China, and is now in the hands of my baby girl.... And that they have been notified that we will be there soon.... It is overwhelming. This dream that started 15 months ago, just days after Grace was born, will soon come true.

Communication Between Two Governments

2010-08-14T13:20:00.001-04:00

This week, on the 12th, the US Consulate in Guangzhou (GZ) issued our "Article 5". This, essentially, is a document that notifies the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) that we have been approved to adopt Grace, to bring her back to the US, and that her immigration and citizenship paperwork is ready to be finalized once we arrive in China.

Our agency's reps in China physically walked-in to the consulate to pick up these precious documents and the forward them to Beijing and the CCAA. This means....drumroll please....that we are on the FINAL step of this process. Sometime in the near future (around August 26th if recent trends continue), we will receive our Travel Approval. This is China's inviation to come and get our daughter.

Travel schedules are still sketchy, but if our TA does indeed arrive before the end of August, we may be able to travel in September. Our agency knows that we will be ready to go at a moment's notice if necessary. Please help us pray that we will be able to travel next month, and that we will be able to do all that is necessary between now and then to get ready for the trip (and get the boys ready for the new school year!)

Uprooting

2010-08-03T19:53:00.005-04:00

I recently learned that blogs using the blogger platform are not accessible in China. And, because I desperately want to be able to post photos and notes about our adoption trip for everyone back home, I have created another site. So, I am uprooting, at least until we return to the US. This blog will not be updated again until after we return.

We have a new Shutterfly Share Site that we will use as a travel journal. You can access it HERE. If you would like an email when I update it, just become a member of the journal. One pretty cool side benefit is that the grandparents can order copies of any of the photos that I post directly from the share site. So, they can have prints of Gotcha Day delivered by Shutterfly before we even make it home.

Some sweet friends have generously offered to lend us a netbook for travel, so that we can send updates without lugging a laptop all over China.

Now...off to get 9 prescriptions filled, get a blood test to see if I need a HepA vaccination, finish emptying Seth's old room, turn it into Grace's new room, meet with our social worker for the home study update, finish the back to school preparations, buy the rest of the stuff on the packing list, CLEAN MY HOUSE....but first....I'm gonna watch a movie with my hubby :)

**The text of the posts on the Shutterfly Site have now been moved to this blog for the sake of continuity. They are chronological in sequence from this point forward.**

Tiny Girl

2010-08-02T13:18:00.000-04:00

It is amazing how quickly this sweet face has captured our hearts from over 8,000 miles away. I wonder about her continually. How is she sleeping? Has she been sick? What is her favorite food? Does she laugh? Does she have a friend? Did she receive the gift that we sent? Does the blanket keep her warm at night?

We had a very few questions answered this week. We received an update of her height, weight, foot length, head and chest circumfrence. We also learned that she has 4 teeth and that she is "healthy". We are so very thankful for the update, which means that the orphanage is now aware that she is being adopted. At the same time, we are concerned about the information revealed.

Our sweet girl has gained just under a pound in eight months. At 15 months old (today), she weighs just over 15 pounds. These measurements tend to be taken fully-clothed as well. As a cleft-baby, feeding is no doubt a challenge for her.

I have been blessed to meet many friends online who are adopting or have adopted babies just like Grace. And, I have learned that these numbers aren't that unusual for a cleft baby. One sweet friend told me, "Any weight change that isn't backward is a good thing."

So, we have put away all of the 18-month clothes that we planned to take to China. It is time to gather 9 month clothes instead. A dear friend, who happens to be a NICU marvel, is helping us to design a game-plan for nutrition to help her grow strong and healthy. We have special nursers for cleft-affected babies in hand, and are ready to put them to good use.

The wait is harder now. We know that she needs us. We know that loving attention and nutritious food are going to radically change her world. And, we anxiously ancticipate the moment that she is placed in our arms.

Please help us pray for Grace to remain healthy while she waits for her new Mommy and Daddy to bring her home.

Baby Steps

2010-07-28T22:57:00.003-04:00

In my first post on this blog, I compared adoption to a marathon. It certainly has been! I thought that sending our dossier to China would mean the end of paperchasing. On the contrary, that paperwork was just training for the REAL paperchase that was to come. After an adoptive family received the Letter of Acceptance from China, there are basically 4 steps that must take place before travel.

1-Immigration Provisional Approval ~ @ 3 weeks
2-Immigration Processing through the National Visa Center ~ @ 1 week
3-Issuing of "Article 5" by US Consulate in Guangzhou ~ @ 2 weeks
4-Issue of Travel Approval by China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) ~ 2-4 weeks

We are waiting on step #3. Our paperwork is being hand-delivered to the US Consulate today. We expect our Article 5 to be issued on August 12. This puts us on track for a Travel approval, hopefully, by the end of August. Once the TA is issued, we will request a consulate appointment in Guangzhou. We will leave approximately 14 days before this appointment, because it falls at the end of the trip. But, the entire trip is contingent upon the scheduling of that one appointment.

Our timeline gets a little hairy here. All of China shuts down Sept 23-25 for the Moon Festival. (I would LOVE to be there for this!), and also Oct 1-7 for another holiday, National Day...which seems to last an entire week. So...to be frank...please pray for speedy processing so that we won't have to wait until mid-October to travel! We're almost there, baby girl!

An End In Sight

2010-06-24T08:17:00.005-04:00

God so often provides things that I need, before I even realize that I need them. Last March, Joel's phone contract was up and he decided to upgrade to a Blackberry. That month, Verizon was running a Buy One Blackberry/Get One Free Sale. (Crazy, right?) So we went the next day to get mine. I thought it would be fun to have, but I never dreamed that I would need it.

We learned about Grace early on a Saturday morning through an email on my Blackberry. We were going to have a family day out that day. Without mobile email access, I would not have seen that email until late that night. From the time that I read the email on Saturday morning, I had 18 hours to gather paperwork and get it sent to our agency so that our referral could be locked in. I very well could have missed that opportunity and lost our referral.

Yesterday, on an interstate somewhere below Atlanta, I received the email that informed us that our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) had arrived at our agency. This document had to be overnighted to us, and I had 4 hours to let them know if it should come to an address other than our home. I would have been too late for that one also, and our precious LOA would have been sitting on our front porch in MD until we found someone pick it up and overnight it to us in MS.

Thank you, Lord, for providing a tool for this adoption before we even decided to begin the process.

Oh...and we have our LOA!!! It is the final approval to confirm that she is ours, and a document that we must sign and return to China confirming that we still want her. (It is also called the Letter Seeking Confirmation.) Our agency estimates that we will travel in 10-13 weeks! We will be waiting for two documents now, one from our own USCIS (Customs and Immigration), and the Travel Approval (TA) from China. The USCIS document is the confirmation that her immigration paperwork is in order. The TA is our invitation to come and get her! I have a ton more paperwork to get together over the next couple of days. We have about a day and a half of down time before our mission trip gets into full swing, which is a blessing. So, I am going to try to find a business center in this hotel so that I can get it all printed out and get started!

The Grace Project

2010-06-23T05:00:00.000-04:00

Recently a precious friend of ours approached me and said, "How is the Grace project coming?" Then he said, "Grace Project...I like that!" I like it too. God is certainly using this adoption as a means of exhibiting His grace in our lives.

Did you know that adoption is a beautiful picture of the redemptive work of Christ? Without Jesus, we are fatherless. Without Jesus, we have no hope. Without Jesus, our future is tragic.

Just as God gave us the gift of marriage to help us understand the relationship between Jesus and the church, He has also given us adoption so that we can understand and reflect what it means to become a "joint-heir with Christ."

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

Romans 8:14-17 NKJV

Those of us who have chosen to turn our lives over to Christ are adoptees!

A few months ago I contributed to a devotional book that will be published in the fall. My contribution is quite brief, because of the space constraints of the published work. But, the message of this passage applies here. Forgive the choppiness of this post...

Background Passage: Psalm 82

Focal Verse:
“Provide justice for the needy and the fatherless; uphold the rights of the oppressed and destitute.” (Psalm 82:3)

This Psalm is meant to warn national leaders of their responsibility to protect the weakest and most vulnerable among those in their charge. When coupled with James 1:27, it is clear that this same responsibility lies at the feet of every believer.

My husband and I have felt a calling to adoption for many years. Recently God made it clear that the time had come for us to begin that journey. As we began delving into the adoption process, we were surprised by the reactions of many of our Christian friends. All have been supportive, but few seem to realize the Scriptural mandate that we have been given as believers to be active in orphan care. Many have never considered their own position as a co-heir with Christ, and the beautiful reflection of that which we are given through adoption. Paul Pennington, in his blog, Hope for Orphans, stated, “Caring for orphans is God’s will for everybody. Adoption is not.” Consider what role God would have you take in the care of the weakest among us. Whether it is through foster care, adoption, advocacy, or financially supporting those who choose adoption, God’s calling is clear and unavoidable.

So, it's the Grace Project...in more ways than one.

Waiting...Waiting...Waiting...

2010-06-20T23:09:00.005-04:00

Man, I thought waiting was hard before we had ever seen Grace's picture. It is a very odd feeling to have a child on the other side of the globe, whose care you have absolutely no say in. How is she doing? Has she been sick? Has she had surgery? Did she sleep well last night? Did she laugh today?

If anyone out there is in need of a lesson in patience...I can tell you where to find one.

This week began in China with the Dragon Boat Festival. Any of you who have young children may have seen the Ni Hao Kai Lan episode about this celebration. All government offices were closed Monday through Wednesday, so very few approvals have shown up this week.

We are on the 55th day of waiting for our LOA from China, which is the final step in the approval process. Then there will be a few more hoops to jump through regarding her citizenship paperwork and our travel appointments. I'm excited to have found an online community of people that are in the same *dragon* boat, waiting at various stages of this process to go and get their little ones. We all compare our time lines...hoping that we might gain insight into when we might see some forward progress. Though it could come at any time, I am trying to tell myself to not expect anything before the end of July. Thankfully, the next couple of weeks will be pretty hectic as we go on mission to the Gulf Coast to continue Katrina relief. My mind will be filled with feeding hungry mission teams, so there will be little time for worrying about the paper chase.

That said, I am ready with the next step. And, our agency is on alert to call us for info on where to overnight the paperwork, depending on where we are at the time. So, who knows, maybe we will have to track down a notary while we are there!

Our Baby Girl's First Birthday

2010-05-10T08:33:00.004-04:00

We received Grace's pictures and information on April 24th. Just eight days later, on May 2nd, she had her first birthday...

Of course, we had to celebrate!

We shared a fresh strawberry cake ('cause it's pink and all), and sang Happy Birthday. She also got a couple of presents which we will take with us to China in a few months.

It was a bittersweet celebration. We are so excited to have found her, and to know that we will be together soon. But, it was really hard to know that we were missing this milestone. I have lots of photos of both boys on their first birthdays. I especially love the tradition of getting their own cake to play in. Maybe we will do that with Grace on the 1st anniversary of her Gotcha Day!

Big Brother blew out her candle...

Her gifts: Some clothes, a "teetheable" photo album so that she can start learning the faces of her family, and

Her first baby doll.

This was the first thing I purchased after we decided to pursue the adoption of a daughter. Her name is Magnolia, and she was designed by the adoptive mom of two sweet girls from China. You can learn more HERE. (A portion of the proceeds from these dolls goes to assist children in orphanages around the world. And, I've just discovered that Magnolia has a lot of new friends, too!) Very few Asian dolls are on the market today, especially dolls for young children. Magnolia has been sitting on my desk for 10 months as a daily reminder of the blessings of this journey. I cannot wait to give her to our baby girl.

(By the way, the quilt she is sitting on is Grace's bedding. We will begin preparing her room soon. There will be pictures!)

God Has Given Us A Daughter!

2010-05-05T14:02:00.007-04:00

I finally have the privilege of introducing the newest member of the Rainey family to you. Her name is Abigail Grace. Her Chinese name is Liang RuoYun.

Our adoption agency recently had the extraordinary opportunity to access a database of children that they do not often have access to. This has allowed them to match us many months before we really expected it to happen. We received her photos and information about a week and a half ago, but have been waiting for a certain pre-approval from the CCAA before we were allowed to share her information online.

Our beautiful baby girl just had her first birthday on Sunday. It makes me sad to have missed this milestone. But, I know that we will share many more with her!

These are the things that we know:

~Her Chinese name, RuoYun, means "like all living things", the surname, Liang, identifies her as a resident of her particular orphanage.

~She was abandoned at approximately 4 days old at the gate of the orphanage where she resides.

~There is much poverty in her province.

~Her province has the highest rate of both birth defects and infant mortality in China.

~She is with people who truly care for the children in their charge. I have been in contact with families who have been there, know the director, and attest to the children receiving the best care possible in their given situation.

~She has a third-degree unilateral cleft palate and lip which will require multiple surgeries and speech therapy once we get her home.

~She is a quiet child.

~She likes to play with blocks.

~She loves music.

There are many children in her orphanage with mild to severe special needs. The population of the orphanage increased significantly last year. Many of these little ones have very little hope for adoption. The fact that such kind care is given to so many with special needs is a tribute to the Nannies and Orphanage Director. It is a comfort to know that she is with people who love her.

The orphanage was damaged by an earthquake in 2008. Caring people there have been working since then to raise the funds to rebuild so that they can be in a safer structure. This building is being erected now, and they hope to move the children around August.

So here's the BIG question...When do we go and get her?
We don't know for sure. We are waiting for a Letter of Acceptance (LOA) from the CCAA. Soon after we get this, we will recieve an invitation to travel. The trip will be planned at that point, based upon the appointment that we are given at the US Consulate in Guangzhou. I will share more about the details of the trip when the time draws nearer. We expect (hope) to travel within 4-6 months.

We are so excited, so thankful, and so very blessed to have the privilege of parenting this sweet girl, and her big brothers Sam and Seth.

We Have a LID

2010-03-27T08:53:00.003-04:00

We finally got the email a few days ago that our dossier has been logged in by the Chinese government. Our LID (logged in date) is March 15, 2010. This is the date by which we can measure, as time passes, approximately when we would be matched. This is assuming that we are never matched with a waiting child (one with additional physical needs), which is unlikely.

Effectively, we are on two waiting lists. One is in China for a healthy child. According to time lines in place now (which are subject to lengthen or shorten), we will be matched in 3 1/2 years. (I know, that is a very long time.)

We are also on the waiting list with our adoption agency for a "waiting child". These are children who have been deemed either unadoptable or unlikely to be adopted by China. They have different needs ranging from severe disabilities to being over the age of 9. We prayerfully considered a list of possible needs, and selected the ones that we felt equipped to handle. So, when and if a little girl with one of these needs becomes available, we will be matched by our agency. Since there are fewer families seeking waiting children, we expect to be matched via this avenue first. There is absolutely no way to gauge when this might happen.

So, if you are wondering WHEN we will get a call...so are we :) It could literally be Monday morning, or 2013, or anywhere in between. What we do know is that God is in control of it all, including the timing. So, when our little girl is ready to meet us, He will introduce us.

The Dossier is in China

2010-03-10T14:23:00.003-05:00

I just received word that our dossier has been hand-delivered to the CCAA. This is the department of the Chinese government that is responsible for approving and matching orphans with their families. What a journey! This all began in early June, 2009. Now, 9 months later (how appropriate), the paper pregnancy truly begins. I just re-read my first post on this blog and shook my head at aspirations to have our paperwork in China by December. Oh well...His timing is perfect, and He is orchestrating it all. Of this I am sure.

This weekend, while at a retreat with some great women from my home church, I received word that the paperwork was in transit to China. To celebrate, I finally broke down and did something that I have been restraining myself from for months. I bought Grace's first dress.

I have avoided this for several reasons. One of these being that it could literally be several years before we are matched. Styles change and all that, but this one drew me in and I could not resist. So, one day our daughter will wear this lacy, girly dress. And, one day when she is grown I will give it to her and share it's significance in her story. Bit by bit, by a stocking, a dress, a room soon to be prepared and through many prayers...she is becoming a part of our lives.

Surreal....

2010-01-25T13:47:00.004-05:00

We began this journey in earnest 7 months ago. I still remember looking at the pile of documents that came from our adoption agency and thinking, "How will I ever get through this?" It was all so mind-boggling at the time. But, step by step, piece by piece, I've muddled through it all. It almost seems surreal that our dossier is complete. (The photo shows the result of 7 months of literal blood, sweat and tears.) I handed it all over to my friend at FedEx...we are on a first-name basis now...a couple of hours ago. It should be in Denver by 10:30 tomorrow morning (that is amazing to me).

After critical review (not once, not twice, but three times over), binding and translation into Mandarin, our dossier will be on its way to our daughter's homeland. Assuming I did everything correctly, This should happen by mid-February.

Once it arrives in China it will be reviewed by the CCAA and Logged In. The day this takes place will be our LID date (logged in date). LIDs are important because they signify when a family is queued up in line to wait for a child. People who were matched with a child in December all had a LID date from 3 1/2 years ago. Because we are on the waiting child list, it is quite possible (we are hopeful) that our LID date will be irrelevant because our adoption agency will do the matching instead of the CCAA in China. This often goes more quickly because most waiting children are considered unadoptable.

Regardless, we know that we are on God's timeline here. We know that He is in charge of revealing Grace to us. So, until His time is perfect we will wait...and update paperwork.

I began this blog with a running analogy, comparing adoption to a marathon. The first leg of this race is now complete. I can't see the finish line yet, but I know it exists and that is enough for now.

CCAI Responds to Haiti

2010-01-23T10:09:00.006-05:00

When we chose our adoption agency, we did so, in part, because of the testimony of the founders. It was important to us to work with folks that held a similar worldview to ours. We have been impressed with CCAI (Chinese Children Adoption International). As an international adoption agency, they really have their act together. Now, I am blown away.

CCAI had recently begun working in Haiti. The relationship there prompted a response to the events there in recent days. I cannot recount in any better words the story they shared with me through email this week.

Wednesday Jan 20, 2010

Dear CCAI Supporters,

We landed at Port-au-Prince International Airport at 13:59 pm yesterday and hand delivered your contributions [...] to the orphanage staff.

[...]an orphanage that has been caring for about 130 kids, was badly damaged by the powerful earthquake that hit the poor Caribbean nation last on January 12, 2010. Although no children were severely hurt, their dorms were devastated beyond repair. The older children have been living under five tents and the babies are being cared for in the trunk of a big truck. Fox News and CNN managed to reach the orphanage three days after the quake, but their reports of the terrible conditions did not lead to the immediate and adequate aid of food and water that they desperately needed.

On 1/17 at 18:24, [...], an American missionary from Denver sent us an urgent message, pleading, “We need[supplies]quickly!!!”

We immediately contacted one of our long time supporters who had offered their family private jet for emergency use the day before. They wholeheartedly supported our request to use their plane to send supplies to the orphanage. We spent the next five hours storming several Wal-Marts and Walgreens purchasing[supplies]. At 5:30 am, over 2000 pounds of supplies were loaded onto the jet and the plane took off at 6:33 am Denver time.

Five and half hours later, at 13:59 pm, we successfully landed at the war-zone like Port-au-Prince International Airport in the midst of many dozen landing and taking-off aid aircrafts and helicopters from around the world.

We were totally surprised as soon as we opened the gate. Five orphanage staff and volunteers[...] were right there, ready and waiting with a SUV and a truck! We had no idea how in the world they were able to drive and park right by our plane.

We have never in my life seen people so excited, so thankful and tearful, nor who hugged so hard!

We unloaded the supplies as quick as we could and covered the truck with tarps. We offered them an advise we received prior to our departure from another pilot who has been transporting aid to Haiti the day before: Cover the supplies with tarps and let a couple of guys lie on top of it pretending dead so supplies will not be high-jacked on the way back to the orphanage.

At 16:00 pm, we left the airport with seven completely exhausted American and Belgium doctors who had been working in Haiti non-stop for over three days! A free ride in a fancy private jet could provide a little physical and emotional comfort to these heroes.

A huge thank-you to all of you unsung heroes who took action to care and to love. Thank you for entrusting us with your loving donations.

Please visit www.haitiadoption.org to view our Haiti trip photos.

For The Haitian Children,

Josh and Lily

All I can say is WOW. I am proud to be working with this organization. Want to learn more about CCAI? There is a link at the bottom of this blog's homepage.

The above photo is the header for CCAI's webpage.
Disclaimer: I edited the details of what was delivered, the name of the orphanage, and the names of the workers for safety purposes because this is a public blog. These edits are denoted by [brackets].

The Final Authentication!

2010-01-12T14:17:00.004-05:00

My nice friend and the FedEx store called...yay! So, the final document is now at the Chinese Embassy for the last layer of approval. As soon as it returns we will have a complete dossier! Look for a nonsensical celebratory post in about a week :)

Love ya'll!

The Blizzard Threw a Kink in Things

2010-01-06T21:03:00.003-05:00

On the Friday night before Christmas a blizzard hit the Maryland/DC area (and a lot of other places, too). Joel and I were planning to hand-deliver our final document to the State Department on the following Monday, just before leaving to visit our families for Christmas. We had planned on stopping at the FedEx store on the way home from DC that day to overnight the document to the Chinese Embassy for it's final authentication. Our hope was for that document to be waiting for us when we returned home on January 2.

Well...the blizzard shut down DC. So, we couldn't go. We decided to overnight the document to the State Department before leaving so that we could turn around and send it to the Embassy as soon as we got back. The problem is...the State Department has not returned it yet. I know this because my FedEx tracking number has not been activated. I know...I know...the holidays and the blizzard and weekends got in the way. So....we wait....because we can do nothing else. I guess we should get used to it. There is a lot more waiting ahead. We are so very close to having a complete dossier...so very close.

A Stocking Hung in Anticipation

2009-12-08T09:37:00.008-05:00

I am beginning to gather the components of a Lifebook for Grace. Many adoption agencies encourage Lifebooks as a means for helping a child to integrate into their new family. Eventually, when they are old enough, it also helps them to understand where they have come from. A Lifebook helps a child to understand their history, and that of their adoptive family. There are many articles and books available to help in constructing a Lifebook. Some can be found HERE and HERE.

Grace's Lifebook will contain information about our family genealogy, which will also be hers. It will tell about our lives and traditions before bringing her home, how we found her, Gothca Day, what little we will know of her history, and the adoption process.

One day I want to be able to show her how we began making her a part of our traditions even before we found her. This Christmas that means that her stocking is hanging with ours. It means that her name is on our Christmas cards. There is an ornament wrapped under the tree to begin her collection, just as there has always been one for Samuel and for Seth. And also, how we chose a little girl named Lyric, about her age, from the Salvation Army Angel Tree to provide gifts for since Grace is not yet with us.

I believe these things are going to help our boys adjust to and anticipate Grace's arrival. And, I hope that one day she will see just how much she is wanted and loved.

Guess What I Found In The Mail Today...

2009-12-04T20:20:00.004-05:00

So, I came home today and opened the mail box. Inside was this big envelope from USCIS. *Inner monologue* " I wonder...no it can't be the approval. Don't get your hopes up. They told you that earliest it could possible come is Christmas Eve. Really...calm down...it's not possible..."

A document that was due some time between December 24 and March 1 from the US Government...just arrived EARLY...Merry Christmas!

This is what our adoption agency says in the Dossier Preparation Guide about this form, "when it arrives, Celebrate!" So, I did my happy dance through the house and cried at the same time :)

Now I just have to seal this document (explained in a previous post), and we send everything to Colorado for a 10-day workover...then Airmail to China! Lord willing, we will send it to Colorado before Christmas. What a wonderful Christmas present, a complete dossier!

They're Back!

2009-11-10T13:04:00.004-05:00

Just a quick update. I received a call from that nice Fedex man today to let me know that my package was back. So I dropped everything and went to get them (of course). Everything is in order and appropriately authenticated...Yay! I almost had a heart attack when he handed me the package because it was only half the thickness of the one I sent, then I realized that they had kept the copies that I had to send with the originals...whew!

Also, we received our invitation to have the biometric fingerprinting done by USCIS (Immigration/Homeland Security). We go two weeks from today for that. Then, all we will do is wait for that final approval from USCIS which could come any time between now and the end of February. Yeah, I know, it's brutal.

So, thanks for your prayers for the documents to return safely. Another step is behind us!

Fedex Holds the Key to Everything

2009-11-03T15:45:00.004-05:00

I just left the Fedex office. The man behind the counter was very kind and very helpful. That did not make it any easier to turn over the documents which represent 5 months of work and which contain every personal and financial detail about our family. Open that envelope and you will know how much money we have in the bank, whether Joel has a criminal record (he doesn't, by the way) and what my cholesterol level is. I have carried those documents everywhere this summer, mission trips and all. And now, I've had to give them up to the nice man at Pak Mail.

There is comfort in knowing that they will be at the Chinese Embassy by 10:30 tomorrow. And, this is a huge step...the end of the paperwork phase is drawing nigh. I am very excited that we have come this far. My desire to protect and control everything is just making this step difficult for me to swallow. Thousands of children are adopted from China every year, Praise God! And, every one of those families mailed these documents to their respective Embassy or Consulate. I keep reminding myself of this.

Help us to pray that these documents will return safely to us. According to the timeline we've been given, we should get them back by the end of next week. I know that God is in this adoption, and I know that He is in control of even these finite details.

There is Light at the End of the Tunnel

2009-10-31T11:26:00.005-04:00

The sealing process for dossier documents can be a three, four or five-step process. This depends on the state in which you live. Of course, Maryland is a five-step state. The steps are:
1)Notarization
2)County Certification (approving the notary)
3)Secretary of State Certification (approving the county clerk)
4)US State Dept. Authentication (approving the Secretary of State)
5)Chinese Embassy Authentication (approving everything)

Yesterday we made the trek into DC to get step four taken care of. I am thankful that I live within an hour of our state capital and DC. This has allowed me to hand-deliver our documents rather than mailing them. Something about entrusting these documents which I have carried around with me for three months "just in case the house burns down" to the US Postal Service is a bit disconcerting. And, let's not talk about the personal nature of what they contain!

So, step four is done and all that is left is the Chinese Embassy, which has it's own hoops to jump through. We are going to have to mail everything, because of their rules, so they will be overnighted pretty soon. Once this is done, we will just be waiting on our invitation from USCIS for fingerprinting and their approval document. Then this document will need to go through the sealing process and our dossier will actually be complete!

It could be as late as February before we receive that final document, although I hope it will come more quickly. Most adoptive families see this as the last big hurdle.

I also decided to send scans of our documents to our agency this week to check behind me and make sure that I've done everything right. I just received an approval email from our dossier consultant. I am so relieved. As careful as I have tried to be, I had this nagging feeling that I had missed something.
So, all that to say...there is light at the end of the tunnel!

USCIS Filing...DONE :)

2009-10-17T10:17:00.003-04:00

We mailed our application to US Customs and Immigration this week...finally! This takes 10-20 weeks to process and will include an invitation to have biometric fingerprinting done at some point during that time. While we wait for that approval to come through, I will begin the "sealing" process for all of our other documents...the multiple certifications that I talked about in an earlier post. USCIS approval is really the last BIG hurdle (other than finding her). The rest is just jumping through hoops. Pray that this approval moves quickly!

Another Small Step Forward

2009-10-10T15:02:00.002-04:00

I am listening to power tools whirring outside, finishing out our basement to add a little more living area to the house in anticipation of our family's increase. Each step of physical preparation makes this whole journey seem a little more real.

I received word from CCAI that our homestudy has finally and wholly passed muster, after multiple reviews. So, the homestudy agency is preparing the official copies that can be distributed to the necessary government agencies between here and China. The biggest part of this is that it will allow us to file with USCIS (US Customs and Immigration) for their approval to adopt. This one is a hurry up and wait kind of thing. It takes 6-10 weeks to get this approval. Somewhere in the midst of it we will be invited by USCIS to go in for biometric fingerprinting. Once that approval comes back, we will be in possession of all of the documents needed for our dossier and we will beging the "sealing" process, which is the multiple-layered approval of all county, state and federal governments and the Chinese Embassy.

And so...we wait...some more...trusting that God will lead us to Grace in His perfect time and in His perfect way.

Waiting for Approvals

2009-09-20T19:02:00.004-04:00

Well, the Home Study draft has been forwarded to our Adoption Agency for approval. As soon as it has passed muster, we will get official copies of our Home Study to use in our Dossier, and to send to US Customs and Immigration (USCIS) to file for their approval to adopt internationally. Once we apply to USCIS, we will be invited to have biometric fingerprinting done and then we wait to receive their approval. Once we have it, we will begin having all of our Dossier documents authenticated.

These are the documents that compile a Dossier:
*Adoption Petition
*Birth Certificates of Adoptive Parents
*Marriage Liscense
*Employment Verifications for working parents
*Non-Employment Verification for non-working parent (ME)
*Financial Statement
*Physical Exam Documents including several blood tests
*Gold Seal Police Reports obtained through FBI fingerprinting
*I-797C form indicating approval to adopt from USCIS
*Finalized Home Study
*3 couple photos
*8 family life photos (both parents must appear in each)
*6 Passport photos each
*Copies of Passports

Everything except for the passports and photos must go through multiple levels of authentication. For most of these documents there is 1-Notirization, 2-Certification by the County Clerk (where the notary is from), 3-Certification by the Secretary of State (For us this is in Annapolis), 4-Authentication by the US State Department, 5-Authentication by the Chinese Consulate in DC.

Thankfully, our state capital is within easy driving distance, as is DC for the State Department and Chinese Consulate.

Many people have to do much of this through the mail. It is my hope to hand-deliver everything to every office. I have been told the document that walk through the front door are attended more quickly than the ones that arrive in the mail. So, that is where we are now.

The very exciting thing is that we are already on the Waiting Child waiting list. Since we are seeking a child with some medical needs, we will more than likely be matched by CCAI instead of the CCAA in China. Waiting Child matching tends to happen within 18 months. That timeline has already begun. We are not guaranteed a match within 18 months, but it is very possible...wouldn't that be an amazing Christmas gift in 2011?

The Whirlwind is Subsiding :)

2009-08-16T20:40:00.002-04:00

Wow, what a crazy summer! We have been on mission in Mississippi, to the SBC, through VBS, and so much more. During all the insanity we have managed, by God's grace, to finish our homestudy paperwork and move forward. Tomorrow morning we leave on a much-needed family vacation to Disney. (shhh...the boys still don't know!)

During the third week of July we had home inspections by the Health Dept. and the Fire Marshall. The sanitary inspection included a test of our well water which revealed bacteria in our well. We have learned that this is a fairly common issue and how to sanitize it. The Health Dept. will be returning on August 31 to re-test. Hopefully, the bacteria will be gone. Other than that we passed both inspections with flying colors (whew).

Upon passing those and compiling the final documents, we were ready to contact our social worker so that we could move forward with interviews. About a week ago we had individual biographical interviews that lasted nearly 2 hours each. We set a date for August 25 to have our final interview. Our SW said that she would be contacting our references over the next few weeks and asked us to complete Parent Training before our final interview.

Now, a word about Parent Training. Any one who adopts a child from a Hague country is required by law to take 10 hours of Hague-accredited Parent Training. I must admit that I was a little taken aback by this. I mean...we do have two healthy boys. But, thankfully, the wonderful agency that we are working with, CCAI, has designed a program specific to China adoption. Joel and I both completed this training this week online. I must say, it really is fabulous. It includes information about grief and loss experienced by adoptees, developmental delays that should be expected, behaviors that encourage attachment, what to expect as a racially diverse family, and information about Chinese history, language, festivals and culture. I really did benefit greatly from it. I will add that not all agencies have country-specific training. CCAI makes this training available to families adopting from other agencies for a fee. If you have a choice in training and are adopting from China, I highly reccomend CCAI.

So with training completed, primary and biographical interviews done, and homestudy documents mailed, we are very near being finished with this step in the process. After that final interview on the 25th, our social worker will compile all of the information that she has gathered into a narrative about our family with recommendation that we be allowed to adopt. This narrative document will be included in the Dossier that we will eventually send to China. She expects to have the narrative completed by the third week in September. Then it will be sent to CCAI for approval. Sometimes the wording needs to be tweaked a bit.

In the midst of all of this, I have also been collecting documents for our Dossier. Official birth certificates for Joel and myself and our marriage license had to be ordered from South Carolina. Then, I had to mail them back to the Secretary of State in SC to be authenticated. I overnighted them and was very surprised when they were back at my door within 36 hours...all the way to SC and back in 36 hours...WOW!

I met with our pediatrician a couple of weaks ago to discuss the possible health concerns with the many possible disorders among Waiting Children.

I will share more about what the Dossier entails later. I will also write another time about Waiting Children. The good news is....we are moving forward!

Caught in the Whirlwind

2009-06-19T00:38:00.003-04:00

We had a lovely meeting with our Social Worker on Wednesday. She is very sweet and made every effort to put us at ease. There is a whirlwind of activity around us now. I am making every effort to get every document set into motion that I can before we leave for the SBC. A few short days after returning from Louisville, we will be taking off once again for mission work on the Gulf Coast. Shortly thereafter comes VBS. I know God had a purpose in setting all this in motion at one time, I just hope I can keep up!

It is my goal to have all doctor appointments, inspections and paperwork ready by the end of July. At that time our Social Worker will return for two more interviews and then she will compile everything into a "narrative" about our family. At that point, our homestudy will be complete. If the Lord wills it, we will be there by mid to late September. Of course, during all of this, we will also be working on the documents that are required for our Dossier. I haven't received that list yet :) The homestudy will be one component of that Dossier that will ultimately be translated into Mandarin and sent to China.

That seems so far away right now. But, as I have said before, each step brings us a little closer to meeting our little girl.

Another Step

2009-06-12T17:23:00.002-04:00

Another step is taken. We have been assigned a social worker and are hoping to hear from her soon. We have also been given a sea of documents to wade through...or drown in... :)

Doctor appointments are being scheduled for physicals, and paperwork is being notarized. With each signature, each clearance, and each release form we are that much closer to the goal. Please help us pray for a smooth journey through all these things. Also, pray that I will be able to juggle this process with our trip to the SBC, two weeks in Mississippi on mission, and directing VBS. If I can make it through July 31, I will be in good shape. There is absoluetely no way I can pull all of this off in my own strength. I am so thankful that His strength is perfect!

Thank you my friends!

We Have Only Just Begun

2009-06-09T12:41:00.000-04:00

We have taken the first few baby steps in a marathon. I think the memories of the endurance needed for the Baltimore half-marathon will come in handy before this is over!

First step...choosing an adoption agency. Check! We have chosen to work with CCAI in Colorado. CCAI was reccomended to us by a nice lady who shared her own adoption experiences with me over the phone. She is three-time adoptive parent of Chinese children. I asked which agency she had used, and she told me that she would not use either of the two she had worked with again. She highly reccomended CCAI. She had seen their staff in action in China early this year and had been extremely impressed.

After more research and reading the testimony of the founder online, we were convinced. So we submitted our application and received approval last week.

Second step...choosing a homestudy agency. Check! We are awaiting a call from our social worker right now. Once we meet this individual, they will give us a stack of documents that will be the framework of our family dossier. This dossier will eventually be sent to China (hopefully by November). Once it arrives, all we have to do is wait for God's timing in revealing our third child to us.

So, that is where we are at this point in the journey. In later posts I will share more about why we are doing this, including the theological foundation for adoption. I will also share our continued steps toward the finish line, when we bring our little girl home.